Giving in to your Lower Desires v.s Self Control

(Don't let your lower desires chain you down and ruin your potential. The key to self actualization is patience and self control; with a little bit of contemplation on our own actions.)

I once had an interesting conversation with someone whom at any cost wants to be happy.

My main message was not giving into your lower desires and using self control. Lower desires, after all, has been written about for centuries, and confirmed by famous Philosophers like John Stuart Mill, a champion of utilitarianism.

This is how our conversation went:

(This was an online conversation and the exact log of it is below, with the exception of our names being generalized to them and Me.)

Them: See, taoism says that if you're going to be angry, to be angry.
Them: And if you're going to dislocate your brother's arm and crack two of his ribs ... then that's what you need to do.
Me: Can you then give in to your emotions, however deep they may be?
Me: Or is there self control somewhere in there?
Them: Oh, the entire thing is about self control.
Me: Cracking your brothers ribs doesn't seem very controlling...
Me: more like, lack of control.
Them: See, I'm kicking his a** *because I feel like it* ... not because he's made me angry, not because he did something to deserve it. Just because he's there.
Me: So you do whatever you feel like?
Me: and that is self control?
Them: Sure.
Me: We both agree that's not self control lol
Them: Without explaining a lot of **** I don't feel like explaining, I can't make you understand.
Me: In a court of law, to intend to kill someone separates Murder from Manslaughter. One lacks self control and one does not.
Me: lol anyways my philosophy is probably the exact opposite. Control your lower desires, to actualize ones self
Them: So you're into self-denial, which is contradictory to being happy.
Me: It depends what you mean by being happy. If giving into your lower desires is being happy then rape is moral in your code.

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After that the conversation ended and they had to head out.

I can't blame them really. How could you justify a world where rape is acceptable? How could you justify a world with no self control?

It seems morally clear that there is a need, a moral principle, and a value in this idea we've conceived as Self control.

It allows one to reach higher levels of happiness and live a better life in general.

It's something for all of us to contemplate on next time we let our emotions or desires get out of hand.